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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26390278">Love is just another four letter word</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/narumei/pseuds/narumei'>narumei</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>GOT7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Feels, Developing Relationship, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Platonic Relationships, Rating May Change, bbam/jackbam + jingyeom are the main ships, established markjae, no beta we die like men, rich kids au</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:42:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,397</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26390278</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/narumei/pseuds/narumei</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>We open scars, we end up breaking hearts, but we can't change <strong>who we are</strong>.</p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.</em>
    <br/>
  </p>
</blockquote>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Choi Youngjae/Mark Tuan, Kim Yugyeom/Park Jinyoung, Kunpimook Bhuwakul | BamBam &amp; Kim Yugyeom, Kunpimook Bhuwakul | BamBam/Im Jaebum | JB, Kunpimook Bhuwakul | BamBam/Jackson Wang, Park Jinyoung &amp; Jackson Wang</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Love is just another four letter word</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>
  <em><strong>Fern</strong><br/>
(n.) Fascination, Magic, Sincerity</em>
</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Beware of spelling/grammar errors!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yugyeom didn't understand why he forced himself to come so early. It was two in the morning, but there he was—standing right across the terminal airport, looking around like a lost fool; he looked almost childlike, as if he was willing to throw a tantrum at any given moment. The airport was just as cold as he had expected.</p><p>Still, Yugyeom somehow ended up siding with his one dumb brain cell—driving to the airport wearing the quickest outfit he found in his private changing room, because there was no way in hell he was gonna rummage each stacks of clothes in his stupidly wide closet. His personal butler of course had warned him about the time and weather, while throwing Yugyeom a stinging look, obviously waiting for the young man to go back inside his changing room. But Yugyeom was too lazy to recollect his thoughts and decisions; or even to hear his butler's complain about <em>'how improper this is'</em> —Yugyeom didn't want to hear any of it.</p><p>He was wearing a lightweight jacket in myrtle green, a supreme logo was visible on his black shirt, and a pair of ripped jeans. It was a casual look, nothing too flashy or special. Yugyeom was lingering around the area, obviously waiting for someone to finally show up because <em>fuck–</em> he didn't want to wait another full hour just to see that familiar shit eating grin.</p><p>A part of him felt touched because this person had contacted Yugyeom first before anyone else—at least that what he assumed at first based on the texts he had received from the figure. Actually, Yugyeom was so sure of it now because facts; he was legit the only guy walking around the airport waiting for this person—<em>for Bambam</em>—to arrive.</p><p>Yugyeom was waiting with a bunch of expectations filling up in his head, each scenarios rolling in his mind like some type of short films. It had been about five years, <em>that's right</em>, they hadn't met for five years. At that time, when Bambam left him; Yugyeom felt a sense of betrayal, pain—because his most precious friend was actually planning to leave him, and to leave everything behind. However, Yugyeom of course never blamed him for it—for wanting to leave the country, especially after the incident that had fell upon Bambam's life. Yugyeom's pain would never be comparable to what Bambam was feeling at that time.</p><p>Yugyeom didn't have the right to be selfish. He didn't have the right to beg Bambam to stay.</p><p>And that's when technology came in handy. Even though Yugyeom and Bambam couldn't meet to hang out with one and another any longer, at least they could still talk or chat via social media. Whenever Yugyeom saw Bambam on tv; speaking with that kind, sweet familiar tone—talking about his artworks, his exhibitions, his achievements, his trophies—sometimes it felt too unreal.</p><p>Bambam's presence felt so close yet so far.</p><p>Truly, even though Yugyeom felt really proud of Bambam, there was still a part of him that felt sorry; because Yugyeom couldn't a<em>ctually be</em> there for Bambam when he was standing at the top of his career, all Yugyeom could do was congratulating him through texts or messages. That <em>proclaimed</em> friendship they held on so tightly—sometimes it just didn't feel as deep and strong as it used to. Yugyeom began questioning himself and their friendship; whether he was a necessary asset in Bambam's life, or whether he was a bother or not—after all, Bambam <em>did</em> leave the country to abandon everything behind, to erase the dreadful memory behind.</p><p>Yugyeom never been the one who asked or hoped for Bambam's loyalty; in fact he didn't expect anything at all after Bambam left. He had accepted his fate; in losing his best friend a long time ago (yes, he was <em>that</em> pessimistic).</p><p>But now, the fact that Bambam still wanted to reconnect, to meet with Yugyeom himself—asking for Yugyeom to come and pick him up in the airport, it nearly made Yugyeom burst into tears. Because he finally had another chance; to fix his pre-broken friendship. The unsaid words he couldn't convey five years ago—finally Yugyeom could say it now.</p><p>Suddenly on the corner of his eye, one of the front security doors opened, and out slipped Bambam—a pair of sunglasses was covering up his vision as he walked elegantly against the floor tiles, skipping through the guards with full of ease; Yugyeom thought he was watching a runway. Actually, Bambam should've felt glad that it was two (<em>nearly three now</em>) in the morning. The airport wasn't packed, the news about him going back to Korea hadn't broken out either (<em>which is good</em>), Yugyeom could already imagine how hectic and full this airport must be if this was on day time.</p><p>Bambam's style was aesthetically pleasing to stare at. And Yugyeom failed not to surpass a grin right there and then. Bambam looked almost too sophisticated, his silver hair matched well with the color of his outfit—it was so obvious he planned for this. The grey double breasted trench coat he was wearing, the wonderfully clean white turtleneck, the white trouser. It was like a winter fashion show or something.</p><p>"Hello peasant, long time no see." Bambam lifted his sunglasses over his head before he waved in flourish, there was a playful smile displayed on his features.</p><p>"All those fame really got through your head, huh?" Yugyeom joked between chuckles.</p><p>"Says the overly spoiled child who always gets everything he wants so easily." Bambam teased.</p><p>"Hey! I don't even live with my parents anymore!" Yugyeom made a fake annoyed look.</p><p>Bambam giggled. "Does your babysitter know you're here though?" He changed the subject.</p><p>"What do you mean? Who?"</p><p>"I'm talking about Jinyoung hyung, does he know you're out this late~?" Bambam tilted his head in a cute way.</p><p>"After everything I have done for you today—dude I was waiting for about nearly two hours for your ass, and this is the payments I got from you?!" Yugyeom spoke with an overdramatized tone.</p><p>Bambam finally let out a big laugh. "Even though I was only twenty minutes late??"</p><p>Yugyeom realized he indirectly just confessed that he was in fact; <em>did</em> come in earlier to see Bambam. Honestly he had no reason at all to be so early, but he came anyway—he was overjoyed, excited. He didn't want to wait.</p><p>Yugyeom couldn't help but to smile, this time more sincere and sentimental, as if he still couldn't say the words he wanted to convey.</p><p>"Anyway," He put a hand on Bambam's shoulder. "Welcome back, buddy."</p><p>And Bambam smiled back at him.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Yugyeom didn't expect it to be so easy—to be <em>this</em> easy. Suddenly he felt like he was sixteen all over again, the car's ride was fun and comforting in its own way, Bambam hadn't lost his charm and exuberance; he was still as loud, talkative, and random as Yugyeom remembered. Music was blasting through the air as they continued yelling to each lyrics they knew.</p><p>Every once in a while they stopped singing just to laugh and giggle like a pair of drunkards.</p><p>They only stopped for real when they had made a stop right in front of Yugyeom's house.</p><p>A butler was already waiting there, with an unimpressed look on his face; eyes staring at Yugyeom as he stepped out of his car, Bambam followed him after.</p><p>"How long have you been standing there?" Yugyeom chuckled, it had always been so fun to nitpick at this guy. "<em>Anywayyy</em>—Bambam this is Seungwoo, Seungwoo this is Bambam." He made an 'introduction' gesture at the two as they stared at one and another.</p><p>"It's a pleasure to meet you sir, I have heard a few tales about you from Yugyeom himself. I'm glad to have a chance in meeting you in person." The butler bowed slightly, smiling politely at Bambam's direction.</p><p>"No, no, it's fine, just call me Bambam." He slipped a hand right through his bangs, snickering at the way Seungwoo had greeted him. "It's a pleasure for me to meet you too."</p><p>Yugyeom threw a hand over Bambam's shoulder. "Okay! We'll be going now! Seungwoo, you go tell the others to take care of Bambam's bags and luggages!" Having said that, Yugyeom started dragging Bambam inside his house—the wide door was already opened for the two to get in.</p><p>A bunch of vibrant yellow lights greeted them as the walked by, a few workers smiled at their direction.</p><p>Yugyeom continued pulling on Bambam's frame right until they reached the living room; Yugyeom plopped down on the big soft cushion—his favorite spot. It was almost past four in the morning, he grumbled when he felt Bambam's weight built up on his back.</p><p>"Hey! There are still many empty places here! This spot is mine!" Yugyeom tried sternly, yet his voice sounded more like a whine in Bambam's ears.</p><p>Bambam could only laugh at that. "I'm your special guest, at least be more polite."</p><p>"This is my house." Yugyeom simply stated, trying not to bother with Bambam's tender laugh.</p><p>"So? It still doesn't justify anything." Bambam replied, his elbow was drilling on Yugyeom's spine.</p><p>Yugyeom started to laugh. "You're still just as annoying as I remembered!"</p><p>"I know~" Bambam flashed a wink at him.</p><p>"Hey Bammie," Yugyeom suddenly wanted to change the subject. "Have you told the others that you're back..?"</p><p>Bambam cleared his throat for a moment, Yugyeom turned around to see the expression on Bambam's face—Yugyeom couldn't exactly decipher what kind of look he was wearing at that moment; though whatever that was, it didn't look genuine at all. Bambam was practically forcing himself to keep a smile from leaving.</p><p>"I don't know what to say to them," Bambam put a hand on the back of his neck, his gaze starting to look awkward. "In fact, I thought you would be the one who told them,"</p><p>Yugyeom shook his head with a faint smile. "You didn't say I could tell them—that's why I kept my mouth shut and waited for you to tell them yourself." He set himself into a sitting position, leaned his back against the soft fabric while Bambam was sitting on one of the couches now. "Besides, I thought it would be more meaningful if you were the one who actually tells them."</p><p>Bambam chuckled. "Thank you, Yugyeom. For now, I'm just glad that my best friend still wants to stay by my side, you know? I thought our meeting in the airport would be more awkward and not as comfortable as I hoped. When I told you I was leaving, I remember how sad you looked at that time." He looked at Yugyeom, there was a smile blooming on his face—a smile that seemed difficult to interpret. "Honestly, I thought you hated me."</p><p>His body stiffened when he heard those words. Now Yugyeom felt stupid; he didn't know—turned out the reason why their friendship felt more strained, and the reason why Bambam sometimes felt like a difficult figure to get a hold on to. It all because of Bambam who had a thought to himself; a thought that Yugyeom actually hated him—even after everything that had happened five years ago, even after the things he had to go through—Bambam was still thinking about Yugyeom.</p><p>That sudden realization made the hidden ache in Yugyeom's chest worsened.</p><p>Bambam still valued their friendship—but he valued Yugyeom more than anything else. And because he thought that Yugyeom hated him, Bambam tried to put enough boundary between them.</p><p>"None of us hates you, Bambam." <em>No one could ever</em>. Yugyeom tried to convince him. "Your happiness is more important than any of our selfishness. We have no rights to beg you in staying here." It was so bittersweet, saying it directly like this from his mouth.</p><p>"Yugyeom, you are a good person." Bambam showed a genuine smile. "Sorry to disappoint you."</p><p>Yugyeom shook his head. "You have never disappointed me, Bam. I always feel proud and happy to have a friend like you. Really, I miss you, mate." It was like a dream—a dream Yugyeom thought would never come true, shouldn't even be real; yet here they were, chatting like two old friends who had the desire in going back to the past, to the time when their friendship actually didn't feel like a fucking firecrack. Honestly, it shouldn't be this  complicated.</p><p>A cute smile spreading across his handsome face, Bambam leaned his head back on the sofa. "Actually, I miss everyone." He chuckled. "I miss Mark hyung's <em>to-the-point</em> scolding, I miss Jaebeom hyung's hearty laugh, I miss all of Jinyoung hyung's sarcastic comments that sometimes felt too piercing for the heart, I miss Jackson hyung's jokes and stupidity, I miss Youngjae hyung's warm and soothing smile. I genuinely really miss all of you."</p><p>"Do you want to see them again?" Yugyeom asked with a smile; he tried not to bite his lower lip.</p><p>He wasn't prepared to be this sentimental. Hearing all that just made him feel even sadder, like there still a part of him that felt a lot of regret. Bastard, Yugyeom felt like a bastard. He couldn't even be by Bambam's side when the boy needed him the most. If only Yugyeom had stayed, if only he was there—maybe, <em>maybe</em> Bambam's heart wouldn't feel so much pain.</p><p>If only Yugyeom wasn't so fucking dumb, if only he wasn't such a coward.</p><p>Yugyeom tried to protect the smile on his face. Bambam was now right in front of him. He wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he ended up being the reason Bambam's smile fade away.</p><p><em>It's okay</em>, Yugyeom wanted to ensure himself.</p><p>"Of course!" Bambam simply answered with a tight grin.</p><p>"Then it's decided," Yugyeom paused for a moment, there was a gleam in his eyes. "We will have a big party tonight!"</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>"JINYOUNG!!!!" Jackson screamed shamelessly.</p><p>Jinyoung, who was just about to fix his slightly wet hair, rolled his eyes in the process. It was only eight in the morning and Jackson was already being annoying.</p><p>"I am busy!" Jinyoung shouted. He didn't care.</p><p>Jackson grumbled under his breath, his lips were downcast, Jackson needed attention right now—there was an important thing Jinyoung should know about. Just this morning Jackson legitimately, almost dropped the expensive cup Jinyoung gave him (three days ago) because of the news he received. There were many rumors that stated Bambam was in Korea right now—but not a single article had told him about the boy's whereabouts. Though it wasn't for those reasons that Jackson nearly dropped his cup, he was surprised (and almost spattered to one of the maids who brewed the coffee for him), turned out that Bambam was already in Kim Yugyeom's (humongous) home.</p><p>The brat had sent a photo in the group chat; and in the photo, Yugyeom's hand was wrapped around Bambam's neck, the latter could be seen enjoying his drink—his other hand formed the letter V.</p><p>Jackson's phone started getting filled up with various notifications after that, even the Mark Tuan began to raise his voice in the group chat. Since earlier, Youngjae had been busy mentioning Jinyoung's name, whilst their oh-so-called-mature-hyung; Jaebeom, was busy terrorizing Yugyeom with a lot of unanswered questions.</p><p>"Why is Youngjae calling me? Did something happen?" Jinyoung questioned as soon as he sat next to Jackson.</p><p>"I think Bambam will live with Yugyeom." Jackson replied nonchalantly, his eyes were still focused on the screen.</p><p>"Wait, <em>wait</em>, what?!" Jinyoung almost shouted near Jackson's ear, his eyes drastically turned bigger. He was in disbelief. "So all the news about Bambam going back to Korea is true??"</p><p>"Open the group chat now!" Jackson ordered, a little annoyed.</p><p>Without saying another word, Jinyoung listened to him and immediately opened the contents of his cellphone notification. Youngjae had already mentioned his name for the twentieth times.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong> <em>Dumbass kid (Yugyeom)</em> </strong><br/>
<em>Party tonight!! my house! 8 pm! don't be late!</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>The only one I can trust (Mark)</em> </strong><br/>
<em>KIM YUGYEOM! YOU STILL HAVE A LOT OF EXPLANATIONS TO DO!</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>My soulmate (Jackson)</em> </strong><br/>
<em>yOOOO! even the mark hyung used caps on you! @Dumbass kid</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Me</em> </strong><br/>
<em>Yugyeom you better explain</em><br/>
<em>or I might actually stomp on you</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Give me your money (Jaebeom)</em> </strong><br/>
<em>Jinyoung you're so late</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>My vitamin (Youngjae)</em> </strong><br/>
<em>Yeah hyung! where have you been??</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Dumbass kid (Yugyeom)</em> </strong><br/>
<em>jackson hyung said you were taking a shit LMAO</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jinyoung turned to look at Jackson, flat and unimpressed. "Really? You said that? I thought you were a better friend, guess not, huh?"</p><p>"Shut up, it was your fault to keep me waiting!" Jackson's eyes were still set on his phone screen.</p><p>
  <em>Fine. Point taken.</em>
</p><p>"Oh, and for your information, I will call my manager to rearrange my night schedule so it can be moved to another available day," Jackson told him. "Because there's no way I'll be missing out on Yugyeom's party! That kid always throw the best parties I swear to God!"</p><p>"Yugyeom's party is more important than your job?" As predicted. This was nothing new anyway. When Jackson felt like not going to work (because of stupid reason like now), there would be a time when he <em>actually</em> wouldn't show up.</p><p>Example: tonight.</p><p>"Hey, this time it won't be just any ordinary party!"  Jackson began to stare at him with full interest.  "Bammie will be there! You must come too!"</p><p>"Who said I won't come? I always come to the parties that Yugyeom hosts." Jinyoung replied, not realizing the damage he just made.</p><p>"Sure," Jackson replied knowingly. "In fact, isn't Yugyeom's party the only event that always gets you so excited?"</p><p>"Why? Is there something wrong with that? Honestly, if we ever make a list of who makes the best party—Yugyeom would be at the top of the list. We have to admit, that kid actually knows how to throw a party." Jinyoung prompted, his gaze was unreadable, it was unknown whether that excuse alone was the reason for Jinyoung to keep participating in each of Yugyeom's parties.</p><p>"So you chose to be this way, huh?" Jackson threw a look, a wry smile playing along his features. "I wonder if that's really the truth."</p><p>"I don't understand what you're talking about. My words regarding this matter are clear enough, am I wrong? To put it simply, Yugyeom's party is fun. That's all." Jinyoung explained once again, there was something lingering on his eyes. Jackson couldn't pinpoint what was it, but it was obvious Jinyoung was trying to hide something from him.</p><p>Jackson laughed at his words. "Fine, whatever makes you sleep at night, Jinyoung-ah." He showed a lopsided smile. "After all, your feelings are your own problem. I'm sure there will be a time when you finally aren't able to hold it in alone any longer, and when that time comes, I'll emerge as the important character who plans to save your life." He kept digressing at will.</p><p>"Such a drama queen," Jinyoung rolled his eyes for the umpteenth times.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jaebeom thought Mark was going crazy. Since earlier the man had been smiling and chuckling at his cellphone screen– "Jaebeom-sshi, can you stop moving your face like that?" Jaebeom blinked and turned his head back to its previous position, there was a satisfied smile plastering on the makeup artist's face before she continued fixing up his makeup and hair.</p><p>"Five minutes!" Another staff, who was walking by to check on Jaebeom and Mark, exclaimed. "Let's get everyone ready in five minutes!" He repeated, more coherent this time, before he walked back to his post.</p><p>Jaebeom turned his chair around to face Mark who had finally put his phone aside, when the two arrived in the other room—the head photographer had just finished retouching some of the extra stuff in the studio. Mark and Jaebeom walked toward their post, a board of chess was displaying in between them—perhaps the new property.</p><p>The set of photo shoot went by pretty smoothly, every eyes were on them, silent yet intense. Jaebeom held the black king near his lips whilst Mark had the white king under his chin and thumb, the photographer continued throwing praises at their direction—giving them an 'OK' sign every once in a while as they kept switching their poses and chess pieces. Jaebeom put an arm against the older's shoulder, tilting his head to lean on the back of his own hand—Mark slid his fingers over his hair, sensually blinking his eyes at the camera.</p><p>"Okay perfect! You two are perfect!" The photographer took the last shot before he started clapping at the two of them.</p><p>Mark joined him in the act (both were clapping quite funnily) before he and Jaebeom started bowing at the man.</p><p>"It was a pleasure for me to be able working with you two." The man flashed them a modest smile.</p><p>"You flatter us too much, sir. Those are supposed to be our words, we had a bliss in working with you and your team." Jaebeom smiled as Mark started shaking hands with the photographer.</p><p>"Thank you for taking care of us today!" Mark stated, waving at the other staff in front of the set.</p><p>After a few pictures and exchanged conversations between the models and workers there, Jaebeom and Mark finally could walk back inside their private waiting room. It had been a while since the last time they both got booked for a photo shoot with one and another, Mark walked back toward his chair and charger, slipping out his phone once more just to start texting somebody again. Jaebeom felt curious, he took his cup of americano before walked behind Mark to take a peek on the older's screen.</p><p>It was Youngjae.</p><p>"You're so gross, hyung." Jaebeom made a 'yuck' sound on the background as he moved back to sit on his chair.</p><p>Mark paid him no mind. "Anyway, do you plan going to Yugyeom's party tonight?"</p><p>Jaebeom hummed, pulling out his own phone. "Is that a rhetorical question? Of course I will! Bambam will be there, remember? In fact, we all should be there."</p><p>"I'm sure it'd be one crazy party," Mark chuckled, lifting his gaze to Jaebeom.</p><p>"Well, Yugyeom's parties have always been loud and crazy. But now adding up Bambam into the mix?" Jaebeom already laughing at the thought. "This party would be the most glamorous one."</p><p>"He wasn't being called the ultimate fashionista for nothing. Everything about Bambam is glamorous, his life, looks, clothes. France was indeed the perfect place for him to live in." Mark spoke in a silvery tone.</p><p>"Still, I miss him here." Jaebeom leaned back his head.</p><p>"Everyone does. We all miss that dumb crackhead." Mark cackled.</p><p>Jaebeom didn't want to think about the past, but now that Bambam was back, he couldn't help but <em>to think</em> about the past. Bambam was like a ball of fresh air—honest, confident, humorous, loud, and many more. Whenever Jaebeom felt stressed out about school, he would nearly always call Bambam; demanding him to cheer him up—which Bambam always responded along with a lighthearted laugh, as if he had expected each of those phone calls.</p><p>He was a brat.</p><p>Actually, calling Bambam annoying would be a huge understatement; and yet, Jaebeom still continued letting him do whatever he wanted. Jaebeom wouldn't say it aloud—<em>ever</em>—but he admitted, to himself, that he had a soft spot for the boy.</p><p>Bambam wasn't as arbitrary as Yugyeom nor as crazy as Jackson, he was....<em>indeed his own species.</em></p><p>
  <em>What the fuck was Jaebeom trying to say?</em>
</p><p>He picked up his phone, a small smile creeped on his face when he saw Bambam's photo in one of those articles about him—honestly it had been such a long time since the last time he saw Bambam in his real, natural black hair. Last month his hair was golden brown, and now suddenly it was silver?</p><p>"You're gonna go bald at some point," Jaebeom stated out absentmindedly.</p><p>Mark stopped taking off his accessories midway to give Jaebeom a confused look. "Excuse me?"</p><p>Jaebeom quickly noticed his dumb mistake and laughed. "Ah, sorry, I was talking about Bambam." His hand moved quickly to reveal the figure of a young man whose hair color looked more striking compared to the expensive clothes and Rolex watch he was wearing.</p><p>"Shit, he dyed his air again?" Mark snorted.</p><p>Jaebeom nodded with a grin. "Seems like it."</p><p>"I'm not even gonna be surprised when he finally makes an announcement to the world about his dying hair strands and the fact he might go bald for real." Mark said between chuckles.</p><p>Jaebeom couldn't agree more.</p><p>
  <em>Don't get him wrong.</em>
</p><p>Bambam of course, as always, obviously looked good in that picture. But just the fact he changed his hair color again—it had only been a month since he was flaunting that gold brown strands—this was downright ridiculous. There was a part of Jaebeom that actually felt worry for Bambam's hair (he remembered how stupidly good and soft they were).</p><p>Now that he started to think about Bambam again, Jaebeom suddenly missed his smile. Not the flirty one, the giddy one, nor the <em>ha-i-got-you-there-didn't-i</em> type of smile; it was Bambam's sweet smile that had always been Jaebeom's favorite. Soft and moderate, his eyes always looked so precious—it wasn't the type of smile he often showed; rare and possibly a brisk.</p><p>He wanted to see it again. Even if it only lasted for a second.</p><p>Jaebeom wanted to see those eyes spark again.</p><p>"You know, Bambam and Jackson could be good together." Mark randomly voiced out.</p><p>Jaebeom woke up from his thoughts, turning off his phone. "Come again?"</p><p>"I just thought that, they <em>might</em> be good for one and another, you know." There was a sour smile on Mark's handsome features. "I mean, it could just be me reading into things too much, but I was so sure back then...I thought Jackson was in love with <em>him</em>."</p><p>Jaebeom didn't know what the right answer to that. "Hyung, Jackson was dating Jinyoung at the time."</p><p>He could see Mark's muscles tensed for a moment. "I-I know, okay?!" The older prompted. "It's just that, the way he stared at Bambam....it was, different. I mean we all know how affectionate he is, in general of course, but when it came to Bambam? He could get a bit hesitant." Mark managed to let out. "Whenever he tried to be affectionate, to get touchy with Bambam, he would always pay attention to each of Bambam's reactions. Then the incident occurred, making Jackson became even more cautious–"</p><p>"Why are you talking about this again, hyung?" Jaebeom sighed tiredly.</p><p>"Beom-ah, listen to your hyung for a bit." Mark tried. "You know that Jinyoung likes Yugyeom, right? It has always been obvious, even now, it's clear that Jinyoung doesn't see Yugyeom as a mere of another <em>dongsaeng</em>. He is more than that."</p><p>Jaebeom tilted his head.</p><p>"What I'm trying to say is, they continued staying with one and another, despite liking two different people." Mark began, hand nearly slamming on the dressing table. "<em>What I'm trying to say is</em>, Jackson and Bambam could be good with each other, Bambam could be happy, Bambam could–"</p><p>"Hyung, stop. Please." Jaebeom averted his gaze elsewhere. "Do you really think that's possible? Could he truly be happy with Jackson? Even after <em>everything</em> that had happened? Have you not consider Bambam's feelings?"</p><p>"Jaebeom, you know that's..." Mark was about to grit his teeth.</p><p>"What? I know what?" Jaebeom bit on his bottom lip. "I know nothing, hyung. I'm sorry."</p><p>Mark took a deep breath. "Look, I didn't mean to open some old wounds here. I just, I thought..." He paused. "Never mind. I'm the one who should be sorry here. We shouldn't have brought back the past, what had happened, happened already. We couldn't change that fact."</p><p>Jaebeom tried to force a smile. "Bambam is here now, isn't he? We should be happy for that fact alone." He said quietly.</p><p>"Yeah," Mark simply nodded. "You're right."</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>"BAMBAM!!"</p><p>Bambam and Yugyeom turned their heads in unison after hearing that loud shrill—a familiar voice. The figure accidentally pushed past Yugyeom, making the owner of the house grimace and pursing his lips.  Bambam quickly threw his glasses on the lounger, realizing that this person was going to bump into him. Bambam let out a guttural voice for a good split second before he felt a pair of arms pulling him into a tight embrace, he yelped while balancing his body altogether—one wrong step and they would end up falling simultaneously into Yugyeom's pool, which was already clear on the threshold of Bambam's vision right now.</p><p>Yugyeom who realized this immediately pulled on Bambam's arm—trying his best to balance the latter. Still, the figure before them showed no sign of desire to let him go.</p><p>"Youngjae hyung, Bambam is going to die if you continue hugging him like that!" Yugyeom snapped, exasperatedly. His voice sounded more like a whine.</p><p>The figure laughed and finally loosened his hug for a bit. "Sorry, I just couldn't help myself!" He let out an uncontainable screak.</p><p>Youngjae instantly cupped both of Bambam's cheeks in his hands, feeling how soft and tender they were—it didn't feel as full and squishy as before, but Youngjae still thought he looked as cute and precious. Bambam's small <em>'Argh'</em> made Youngjae split his smile even broader.</p><p>"Look at how grown up you are," Youngjae spoke in awe. Shaking Bambam's head left to right.</p><p>“Okay! Hyung, that's enough!" Bambam snarled, slowly pushing Youngjae's body away. It had been years since the last time Bambam actually let someone pinched his cheeks like that. He rubbed on them, not expecting it to be this painful.</p><p>Youngjae could only laugh at the sight. <em>What a baby!</em></p><p>"Hyung, why are you here already?? The party hasn't even started!" Yugyeom chided, a pout on his face.</p><p>Youngjae turned his gaze toward Yugyeom.  "Seungwoo told me earlier that everything is already being taken care of. He said, you and Bambam will just spend the rest of the daytime lazing around the pool until the due time for you two to change clothes."  Youngjae laughed.</p><p>"Is there something wrong with that?" Bambam asked, idly, before lunging his body against the soft lounger.</p><p>Youngjae shook his head for a moment. "Of course not." He stared at Yugyeom with an expression that was difficult to pin down. "But why didn't you contact me? Why didn't you invite me to spend time with Bambam too?"</p><p>Bambam hummed, pulling his sunglasses back in place. "Yugyeom said hyung still has some classes to finish."</p><p>"I don't think that's the real reason why Yugyeom decided not to call me today." Youngjae denied.</p><p>"Ah, <em>why~?</em>"  Yugyeom whined.  "You're ruining our bronding time, hyung!"</p><p>"See?" Youngjae pointed an offending finger at Yugyeom. "You just want to monopolize Bambam's attention all to yourself, which is sooo unfair. Plus, isn't this actually the first time for you to finish all the party planning faster than the usual?" He waved at one of the waiters there, telling them to bring one more drink for him. "I knew something was up when Seungwoo told me that."</p><p>Bambam chuckled, taking a sip from the edge of his glass. "Does Mark hyung know you're here?"</p><p>"<em>What?</em> Yugyeom told you I'm dating Mark hyung already? Even before I could tell you myself?" Youngjae threw an offended look at Yugyeom.</p><p>Yugyeom pulled his hands up to the air, swinging it ever so slightly as he feigned an innocent look. "I didn't do anything wrong! Everything, even our conversation, it all went pretty casual, and it just slipped out of my mind that you two are dating."</p><p>"So you finally confessed, huh?" Bambam teased.</p><p>"Hey! Don't mention it!"</p><p>"Anyway, enough talking about that stuff!" Yugyeom nearly jumped. "The party is tonight! Aren't you gonna ask for any spoilers, hyung? Because I have tons of cool shit to tell you!"</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>It was a party with a bunch of rich and reputable people, honestly every single one of Yugyeom's friends were so used to having their clothes and faces photographed at this point. It hadn't even been past an hour since the party started and there were already ten 'photographers' walking around Yugyeom's house. Cars were pulling up, people were passing in. Yugyeom's house was so big that even after those people were coming in, <em>somehow</em> it still managed to leave a lot of spaces.</p><p>Drinks and food were flowing swiftly, the workers were busy serving each contents. Everyone enjoyed their time differently; some were seen chitchatting, some were in the pool, some were drinking and smoking, some were dancing.</p><p>Youngjae placed his empty glass on the tray the worker politely handing out, he was busy laughing with some of his college buds. Bambam, on the other hand, was busy being interviewed—with a bunch of people were circling around him, asking him work and art-related stuff. Yugyeom could be seen bouncing in front of the pioneer DJ (<em>he was the DJ</em>) across the swimming pool, one of his friends was hanging by his side, whilst Seungwoo kept watching them from behind.</p><p>"Jungkook, where's your girlfriend? Why are you here with me?" Yugyeom joked as he pulled on his headphones.</p><p>"She broke up with me a month ago, thought I already told you about it?" Jungkook snapped his finger at one of the workers there, beckoning him to come closer and give them some drinks.</p><p>"No, I'm talking about your other girlfriend, she's pretty hot dude," Yugyeom chuckled.</p><p>"Oh you mean my second girl?" Jungkook took two drinks from the tray and thanked the man as he walked back toward Yugyeom's side. "Nah, she's not my girlfriend. She's not special enough to be called as such. If you want her, you can have her." Jungkook handed out the drink with his right hand. "But <em>Yuggie</em>, you might get someone angry, you know~"</p><p>"Who? Bambam?" Yugyeom blurted out before taking a sip. "How many times do I have to tell you? We don't see each other in that kind of way, man."</p><p>Jungkook rolled his eyes. Sometimes his friend could be so fucking dumb. "The only person who kept joking about that matter was Mingyu, I mean I don't blame him—you always talk about Bambam," Jungkook turned his gaze toward the said male, who was still busy answering each reporters. "This is the first time for me to see him in person and I feel like I've known everything about him." He began gulping on his drink. "Anyway, who I was trying to imply is <em>not</em> him. I'm talking about one of your hyungs."</p><p>Yugyeom raised an eyebrow at him.</p><p>Jungkook felt the need to smack him on his face. "You know, that one famous actor, the one who loves coming to our uni sometimes just to nag at your face and mayhap given you some pats on the head. People went wild whenever he visited." Jungkook didn't get <em>why</em>, why did he have to explain everything?</p><p>Yugyeom made an 'o' sound. "You mean Park Jinyoung?"</p><p><em>YES</em>. Jungkook wanted to scream at Yugyeom's face.</p><p>"Oh, we're not in that type of relationship. You don't need to worry." Yugyeom said before he depleted every bits of his alcohol. "Seungwoo, can you please take this away?" He called, passing the empty glass to Seungwoo. The latter only sighed as he nodded and walked away with the glass on his hand.</p><p>"Yuggie, I think he likes you." Jungkook stated.</p><p>Yugyeom hummed, picking up on the beat. "He used to date my other hyung. And you know what kind of person I am, Jungkook. I will never break the bro code."</p><p><em>What bro code??</em> Jungkook wanted to snarl.</p><p>"If he likes you back, and the feelings are actually mutual, <em>and</em> your Jinyoung hyung and his ex are now in good terms—then no, Yuggie. You aren't breaking any bro code." Jungkook explained. <em>Why did Yugyeom have to be so difficult?</em></p><p>"You said <em>if he likes me back</em>," Yugyeom took a pause to look at Jungkook. "Did you just assume I like him?"</p><p>Jungkook shrugged. "Well, you have never said you don't like him."</p><p>"Then I'm saying it now." Yugyeom crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't like him, at least not in that way."</p><p>Jungkook deadpanned.</p><p>Before he could say anything more, suddenly they heard some loud screams coming out from several people there, Yugyeom and Jungkook turned their heads in synch—the middle corner of the door to the swimming pool opened wider, and Yugyeom felt the need to slap himself all of a sudden, beside him; Jungkook's smile got broader at the view—<em>speaking of the devil</em>.</p><p>With a bright and handsome face, Jinyoung walked in so casually—he was wearing a tight-fit black turtleneck, covered with unbuttoned grey blazer, and a comfortable black dress pants. Mark was busy checking out the area as he walked in, wearing a tan leather-biker jacket and a white linen long sleeve shirt underneath it—just to show off his cleavage.</p><p>Jaebeom and Jackson were walking behind them; seemingly too focused in their heated conversation to actually notice the eyes that had been watching their every movements. Jaebeom had a laid-back outfit; a black long sleeve t-shirt being covered with a brown polo, a khaki chinos, plus an Alexander McQueen woven skull bracelet to add as an accessory. The outfit's that stood out the most—of course, without a doubt, as expected—it had to be Jackson's outfit. From the bottom there was a pair of light blue ripped jeans, then a tan hoodie and atop that hoodie there was an incredibly expensive-looking beige fur coat.</p><p>"Two supermodels, one popstar, and one actor." Jungkook nudged his elbow at Yugyeom. "Honestly, this is like one of those scenes in kdrama. You know F4 from Boys Over Flowers? Yeah that's them."</p><p>Yugyeom rolled his eyes. "<em>Again</em>, this is <em>my</em> party, I made this for <em>Bambam</em>. It should be all about <em>Bambam</em>, not about <em>them</em>." He emphasized each words he highlighted in his head. "Jungkook you go take my post, from now on you're <em>the DJ</em>, got it? I have some business to take care of." Yugyeom took off his headphones and put it around Jungkook's neck in the process.</p><p>"Roger that!" Yugyeom snatched Jungkook's glass away as the latter winked and saluted at him.</p><p>Yugyeom immediately made his way toward Bambam's direction, passing through some of the groups there as he continued sipping on the alcohol in Jungkook's almost empty glass now. He could hear his name being called from the background, but he chose to ignore it to get a closer distance with Bambam. Thankfully the interview session was already finished by the time Yugyeom arrived; it seemed like Bambam was already preoccupied with the other people there—some were outrageously flirting with him, some were taking photos of him and with him, some were praising his artworks, some were asking about his life. Albeit seemed uncomfortable to it, Bambam still managed a smile—giving them a bunch of reactions as they continued to entertain him.</p><p>"Yo! Bambam!" Yugyeom exclaimed out his name, beckoning Bambam to get closer to him.</p><p>Bambam's eyes beamed, <em>finally</em>. In a daze, after excusing himself quickly, he scampered toward Yugyeom's side.</p><p>"I had been waiting for someone to show up and save my ass," Bambam sighed in relief. "Why is everyone so curious about me anyway? All I do is drawing and painting, nothing more, it's not even that interesting." He grumbled, fixing his trench coat.</p><p>Yugyeom chuckled at that, wasn't expecting a sudden rant coming from Bambam himself.</p><p>"Anyway what's up?" Bambam asked as he casually ran a hand through his hair.</p><p>Yugyeom flashed a smile before he threw an arm around Bambam's neck. "Just follow me, okay?"</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>The moment Bambam walked over and stood right in front of them, Jackson let out the most <em>out-of-character</em> shriek ever—pushing through Jinyoung and Jaebeom before he crashed into Bambam. They both nearly fell and Yugyeom, once again, had to get a hold on Bambam just so him and Jackson could stand 'normally' again. Yugyeom could hear Youngjae's laughter from the side as he rolled his eyes.</p><p>Jaebeom—who just finished witnessing all of that—instinctively walked closer to the two of them, one of his hands grabbing on Bambam's arm, pulling him close to his side. "Are you okay?"</p><p>When Bambam decided to turn his head to the side, aiming to humor him, he didn't expect Jaebeom's face to be so close. Bambam didn't even know whether Jaebeom himself realized it or not. Not until Jinyoung cleared his throat, obviously noticing the flustered look on Bambam's face, that Jaebeom finally stepped aside.</p><p>Bambam laughed when he saw the reddening look on the older's face.</p><p>"Sorry Bam, I got too excited there." Jackson chuckled as he shook both of Bambam's hands together. "How have you been, man?"</p><p>Bambam smiled brightly at him, trying to forget the awkward scene that just happened. "As you can see, hyung. I'm doing great!"</p><p>"You for real dyed your hair again?" Mark chimed in, wowing at Bambam's shiny silver hair.</p><p>"Pretty cool right?" Bambam cackled.</p><p>"Hey, didn't I tell you guys before not to come inside my party right at the same time like that? You guys always end up making a bunch of commotions." Yugyeom chided.</p><p>"It wasn't even on purpose," Jinyoung spoke out.</p><p>Youngjae began to explain that this party was a special party Yugyeom threw for Bambam alone, it could be seen from the food and drinks that had been served, almost all of which were Bambam's favorite things. Jackson blanched after hearing that, immediately stated he could not eat spicy food, the last time he tried to eat food that exceeded his tolerance level; he nearly went insane. At that time he got forced to eat a spicy food for a mission he had to complete in a variety show.</p><p>Mark started laughing and mimicking Jackson's mannerism in a panic state, he kept shouting <em>"Water, water."</em> in English and kept swinging his arms back and forth. Jackson threw an unimpressed look at Mark as the older kept continuing his actions. After a good three minutes, Jackson finally put an end to it by shoving his palm against Mark's mouth, telling him to stop humiliating him.</p><p>But then Jinyoung decided to play along, saying there was a time when Jackson was actually curious about the taste of spicy food—at the time Jackson just finished watching a mukbang livestream; <em>"Really? Is it that good?" "I thought they were gonna die." "Mark hyung once said he couldn't live without spicy food."</em>—Jackson looked so betrayed.</p><p>From beside Mark, Youngjae quickly chimed in "Maybe if you try <em>harder</em>,"</p><p>"Look, I really wanna try getting myself to like spicy food. It's just that, my tongue won't allow it. I don't know exactly how most of you survive it, <em>but my tongue just won't allow it!</em>" Jackson tried to defend himself.</p><p>"Hyung, you don't have to worry," Yugyeom patted his shoulder as if he planned to comfort him. "You have to remember, I'm the party planner here, do you really think I will put <em>my</em> own life on risk?"</p><p>"Oh yeah, Yugyeom isn't very good at handling spicy food either!" Bambam told them with a chuckle.</p><p>Jackson immediately slapped Yugyeom's hand away, twirling his body to the side as he threw an arm over Bambam's shoulder, pulling the latter closer while showing him an offended look. "Yugyeom is practically a baby. You can't just compare us like that!" He teased as he side-eyed Yugyeom.</p><p>"Hey! What does that even mean?!" Yugyeom exclaimed.</p><p>"Have you <em>actually</em> tried eating spicy food?" Jinyoung asked him in a sneering tone.</p><p>When they were all too busy mocking and talking to Yugyeom, Jackson, who just about to tease him again—got silenced by the look on Jaebeom's face, the kind of look Jackson wouldn't usually find in his features. His face radiant with adoration, eyes were twinkling, there was a warm smile stranded on his face. Jackson tried to follow his gaze, and accidentally he met Bambam's eyes. <em>They looked so pretty up close</em>. Bambam who wasn't aware of anything just continued laughing, even slapping Jackson's chest every once in a while. Jackson who saw that began to laugh too, despite not knowing what they were laughing at now.</p><p>Jackson lifted his eyes to stare at Jaebeom again, and still, the sight didn't go away. His eyes were narrowed like a cat, the smile on his face seemed so sincere. People were too busy keeping their eyes on Yugyeom to notice that Jaebeom hadn't said a single word.</p><p>That attentive gaze, that smile full of warmth, that look which was trying to convey so much meaning.</p><p>Jackson decided to look away.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Honestly, no matter how many times Bambam changed his style, back and forth—everything always looked good on him. This time Bambam went for a look that was street-style-worthy and casually smart, teaming a Saint Laurent trench coat along with a Gucci washed t-shirt underneath it. As expected, he always went for the highly branded ones.</p><p>Everything about him felt so bright and untainted. His sweet-looking face, his outwardly confident personality, his flashy lifestyle, his outstanding career. Youngjae didn't know what kind of life Bambam had to go through in Paris to finally stand at the very top of the pyramid.</p><p>Before Youngjae's father knew Bambam, he had never thought that art was such an important factor in their life. His father was a doctor and the owner of a a very well-known hospital in Seoul, not only his father, Youngjae's mother was also a doctor—precisely a veterinarian, a compassionate woman with full of patience. Youngjae who was born into this family and had been living his life knowing a bunch of medical knowledge—it was no surprise when he had that same desire; in becoming a good, reliable doctor.</p><p>But after the incident that happened to Bambam, which had led him moving to France, Youngjae realized that he had too many flaws—flaws he wanted to remove. All he ever wanted was to see his loved ones smile and laugh happily.</p><p>Especially Bambam.</p><p>Youngjae lifted his gaze, monitoring Bambam from across the pool. Jackson was busy humoring him—<em>whatever you do, your gaze must be fixed on me, only me</em>—that's the look Jackson been giving the boy all night (at least that's how it was in Youngjae's point of view). All Jackson saw was Bambam, he didn't care about anyone else—even the paparazzi who kept shooting pictures of him from each sides and behind.</p><p>"What are they doing there?" Yugyeom mumbled, narrowing his eyes at the two.</p><p>"It was your fault who forced them to get our drinks." Jinyoung blurted out.</p><p>Youngjae chuckled when he saw Yugyeom's gaze filled with disbelief. He argued back at Jinyoung, saying a bunch of excuses; <em>"Jackson hyung and Bambam lost at rock-paper-scissors. Besides, you all agreed! The loser has to go across and bring us more drinks!"</em> —Yugyeom protested in his big voice.</p><p>"What's the use of you having so many workers then?" Jinyoung only continued teasing him.</p><p>"My workers are busy, as an understanding young master, I think it'll be better for us to actually get the drinks by ourselves." Yugyeom answered, pretentiously.</p><p>"Hey, we're also your important guests!" Mark refuted.</p><p>Yugyeom simply shrugged. "And? Why should I care?"</p><p>Youngjae was used to this, with Jinyoung being a bit of a jerk, with Yugyeom being his offhanded self, with Mark who always seemed never wanted to lose. Youngjae tried to ignore them, returning his gaze to Jackson and Bambam.</p><p><em>Traitors</em>. It was obvious that they weren't planning going back anytime soon, the two were already busy drinking by themselves at the other side of the pool. However, Youngjae didn't know whether they were actually doing this on purpose <em>or</em> they simply forgot their friends' existences.</p><p>"Let them be," Jaebeom voiced, out of nowhere. Youngjae blinked his eyes, realizing that Jaebeom had been more quiet than the usual. "Maybe this is more than enough." He continued.</p><p>Youngjae didn't get the context.</p><p>"Bambam looks happy,"</p><p>And Youngjae didn't miss it, the way Jaebeom smiled in a beat. <em>What was this man trying to convey?</em></p><p>"What do you think of them, Youngjae?"  Jaebeom asked at once, eyes still fixed on the two figures.</p><p>"Jackson and Bambam? Why? Is there something wrong with them?" Youngjae questioned.</p><p>"Ah, you don't know, do you?" Jaebeom simply cackled.</p><p>Youngjae was puzzled.</p><p>"I don't understand." He admitted.</p><p>"It's okay," Jaebeom nodded. "You'll understand eventually. For now, we should just let them be."</p><p>Seriously, Youngjae didn't understand anything.</p><p>"As long as I can see Bambam's smile, I think this is already more than enough."  Jaebeom stated.</p><p>"Hyung, you can see Bambam's smile everywhere." Youngjae responded, obviously still didn't get the message. "On his Instagram, interviews, documentary, tabloids, and many other sources."  There's no way Youngjae would mention them one by one.</p><p>Jaebeom laughed. "You're right. But this time it looks more special, isn't it?"</p><p>Those words made Youngjae averted his gaze back at Bambam.</p><p>Bambam laughed happily beside Jackson, his teeth showing occasionally as his eyes continued focusing on the latter—who seemed to be busy in entertaining the younger boy with his stupid jokes. As soon as something warm occupied in Youngjae's heart, he questioned himself whether this was really okay—as much as he wanted to give Jackson the benefit of the doubt because of his history with Jinyoung—the fact he looked this happy, showing that much exuberance. There was something Youngjae wanted to ask to Jaebeom. <em>But was it really a good idea?</em> The answer was crystal clear anyway.</p><p>"Does Jinyoung hyung know that–"</p><p>Jaebeom shushed him with his index finger. "Did you really think <em>their</em> relationship was genuine?" It was obvious that he was referring to Jackson and Jinyoung's past relationship.</p><p>Suddenly everything felt so wrong.</p><p>"They were happy, weren't they?" Youngjae wanted to believe it himself.</p><p>Jaebeom sighed, shifting his gaze to look at Jinyoung—who was smiling and laughing with Yugyeom. "If only they could be more honest to themselves."</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>Jinyoung lowered his gaze, gripping hard on the glass of wine as he watched the ice cubes sank. The night was still hectic as ever, people kept on invading his personal space. Thankfully, he was great at playing the role of a <em>nice guy</em>. It was truly a miracle he hadn't crack yet. Plastering the brightest smile on his expression as he directed his face in front of the cameras. He could hear some people calling out his name in their conversations, sneaking a glance every once in a while at the actor.</p><p>At the moment, Jinyoung was standing near one of the tables there, enjoying his time in observing one particular boy.</p><p>
  <em>Kim Yugyeom.</em>
</p><p>He could see the way Yugyeom pulled his mouth into a sneering look while the younger continued conversing with a friend of his, <em>Jungkook was it?</em> —they were standing and leaning on each other with the music rolling out pretty loudly. And whenever it seemed like Yugyeom couldn't hear what Jungkook was saying, the latter always tipped even closer toward Yugyeom's frame.</p><p>Jinyoung sighed at the sight.</p><p>Feelings were stupid, he decided. He shouldn't be this affected by it, Jinyoung knew how close they were. Suddenly it was like Yugyeom and Bambam's situation all over again. <em>Fuck</em>, now he felt even more awful. Jinyoung should be happy that Bambam was here. This was his chance to be a better person—a better hyung.</p><p>Yugyeom was Jinyoung's bad habit. A bad habit he should confront, Jinyoung needed to stop being such a mess and a coward. He was sure everyone knew about this—about his stupid feelings, his stupid crush on Kim Yugyeom. It was embarrassing as hell, there were times when he couldn't even accept this fact.</p><p>"Jinyoung, are you okay?" Came a voice from beside him.</p><p>Jinyoung cleared his throat. <em>He needed to regroup</em>.</p><p>"Yes, Mark hyung? Do you need me for something?" He managed a smile.</p><p>"Did you hear someone shit talking you again? You looked pretty intense just now." Mark said, obviously concerned.</p><p>
  <em>Was it that bad? To the point Mark had to say it out loud?</em>
</p><p>"Was it that unpleasant?" Jinyoung tried not to drop his expression.</p><p>Mark was confused.</p><p>"What? Yeah, sure," He prompted. "What were they saying anyway?"</p><p>Jinyoung gritted his teeth. "No, I'm sorry. It's nothing hyung."</p><p>Mark patted Jinyoung on his back. "Hey, what's wrong?"</p><p>"I was just," He was trying his best not to stutter. "I was just thinking about something. Nothing big of a deal, don't worry."</p><p>Mark knew something was up. Jinyoung wasn't the type of person who dwelled on 'just any' problems, it couldn't be about his work either because Jinyoung had always been forward when it came to the people he worked with, if there was a problem, he would want to fix it as fast as possible—he wouldn't say something so vague like now.</p><p>And Jinyoung wasn't dumb, he noticed it. Mark clearly was giving him a look. <em>A look full of doubts.</em></p><p>He decided to ignore it.</p><p>"Anyway, are Jackson and Bambam still together?"</p><p>Mark decided to take the bait.</p><p>"I think so, I just saw them holding out a handshake event a few feet apart from here."</p><p>
  <em>Of course that would happen.</em>
</p><p>"Do they know that Bambam is still a college kid?" Jinyoung cackled.</p><p>"Honestly, the college kids we know have much more interesting life than us." Mark began. "Especially Yugyeom."</p><p>"Especially Yugyeom." Jinyoung agreed.</p><p>And that was the truth. Sure, everyone here was rich, they all born from a reputable family; but Yugyeom, he was in his own league. A third generation chaebol. Always living his life quite lavishly, <em>broke</em> probably wasn't even in his vocabulary. This house? It was a gift on his birthday. His parents pretty much always gave him what he wanted.</p><p>Jinyoung still questioned himself, why? Why it had to be Yugyeom? Why couldn't his heart just listen to him for once? —Kim Yugyeom was a spoiled brat, annoying, troublesome.</p><p><em>If</em> only he wasn't so caring, if only he wasn't so pure-hearted, if only he wasn't so eye-catching; maybe Jinyoung wouldn't have fallen so hard.</p><p>He tried to date other people, he tried to date <em>Jackson</em>—but it still didn't feel the same. It had been years and his heart still chose Yugyeom.</p><p>Even without Jinyoung's presence, he knew Yugyeom could still be happy. He was a cute kid, a lively one. Jinyoung saw the way Yugyeom's lips curved into a grin, staring at Jungkook with so much interests as he continued laughing at the latter's words.</p><p>He could feel something curling in his chest, an unpleasant feeling. Why couldn't he just ever be happy for Yugyeom?</p><p>Jinyoung didn't like this at all.</p><p>"Jinyoung." Mark stated suddenly. "You're showing that look again."</p><p>Jinyoung clenched his chest, swallowing on the rest of his drink before he decided to storm away. Carefully but surely pushing through each groups standing there. He couldn't take it anymore, his heart was aching so badly. Jinyoung clicked his tongue, accelerating his steps toward the house.</p><p>Mark sighed when he saw everything unfolded before him.</p><p>"Jealousy never been a good color on you, Jinyoung." Mark sipped the liquor around his grip.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p> </p><p>There were so many unsaid things Jaebeom hoped to speak out one day.</p><p>If only he could be as brave as Jackson, as honest as Jackson, as bright as Jackson—<em>fuck</em>, Jaebeom needed to stop. He didn't get it either, why it affected him this much. Jackson loved making people smiles, it was one of his talents. And Jaebeom was grateful to have a friend like him. He shouldn't feel this bothered.</p><p>It was almost past 1 a.m. and Jaebeom was still wide awake. The room was gloomy due to little lightings. All he could think about was Bambam and Bambam's smile—he missed them. His laugh sounded so pure and delight, it had been a while since the last time Jaebeom actually heard it by ear.</p><p>Jaebeom got up from his bed, <em>should he take a walk?</em> Yugyeom's house was big enough for him to do that anyway.</p><p>Some night guards greeted him along the way as Jaebeom made his first stop inside the kitchen. He sighed when he saw three fridges standing there, even though this wasn't the first time Jaebeom saw Yugyeom's kitchen—it still managed to leave an impression. He decided to walk over the third fridge, to get a good look on each fruits there. If Yugyeom was here, he would probably be like, <em>"Hyung, I can just call someone to bring me the food I want. I have people here working for me for a reason. Just let them do their work."</em> No matter how you look at it, Yugyeom was still a spoiled baby.</p><p>Jaebeom ignored the sound of the approaching footsteps, he thought for a moment that it was Yugyeom. Jaebeom immediately closed the fridge, biting on an apple. When he turned his body, focusing his gaze towards the figure before him—he didn't even know he would end up meeting a familiar face he had longed so much, his silver hair looked beautiful.</p><p>"Jaebeom hyung? You haven't slept yet?" Bambam asked, his messy bangs covering each sides of his forehead.</p><p>Jaebeom smiled. "Want to keep hyung some company?"</p><p>Bambam nodded, and with that Jaebeom immediately stomped his feet into the living room.  He could take a walk at any other time, Bambam looked tired and Jaebeom didn't have the heart to make the former follow him around the house. Bambam flopped down against the gray comfy bean bag, Jaebeom cackled at that before he walked over to sit on the sofa next to the younger lad.</p><p>"Hyung, you're not sick, are you?" Bambam asked randomly, gaze fixed on the ceilings.</p><p>Jaebeom hummed. "Uhm, no. Why did you ask?"</p><p>"I don't remember you being this quiet before," Bambam stated, turning to look at Jaebeom.</p><p>A warm smile spread across Bambam's face, cheerful yet modest. One of the standing lamps' light dipped onto his face, and Jaebeom couldn't help but to feel something tightened in his chest. His two dark glittering orbs were reflecting half of Jaebeom's face. Bambam looked so precious.</p><p>Jaebeom decided to put the apple on the plate he had brought earlier, shifting his body closer to the young man beside him, to get an even closer look. Jaebeom ran his fingers through the strands of Bambam's hair, smooth and soft—the latter let out a giggle, and Jaebeom couldn't help but to split his smile even wider.</p><p>"Hyung, I'm not a child anymore! Stop treating me like one!" Bambam exclaimed in a joking manner.</p><p>"Shut up! You will always be a baby!" Jaebeom answered with a dumb-looking grin as he continued messing up Bambam's hair.</p><p>And sure enough, no matter how many times he had tried changing his own 'characteristic', Bambam was still Bambam. His bubbly, melodious laugh—his charming and carefree persona. Honestly, Jaebeom could never forget how rowdy and fun this person was.</p><p>"Hyung," Bambam began again. "I haven't mentioned this before, but I've always thought that you look good in longer hair."</p><p>"Really? I thought you wouldn't like it one bit." Jaebeom replied.</p><p>"What? How could you think that? You look the hottest right now."</p><p>Jaebeom couldn't understand it—how could people like Jackson and Bambam <em>exist like this?</em> Saying and flowing each statements so easily, so frankly; as if every words they spoke out had the exact, same sentiment that wouldn't make people go wild.</p><p>Jaebeom immediately fell silent, not knowing how to respond. Honestly, he had received such comments and compliments many times—<em>this</em> was something he used to, so why? Why did he feel his cheeks getting warmer and rosier? And even his heart started beating erratically. Jaebeom didn't get it.</p><p>He suddenly heard Bambam's laughter. "Don't need to get so embarrassed, hyung." He ensured. "You're like one of Korea's top and best models. I'm sure a lot of people have talked and mentioned on how hot you always looked in each of your covers."</p><p>Jaebeom blinked. "You bought my magazines?"</p><p>"Of course!" Bambam smiled. "I also watched some of your runaway clips! Oh, and Mark hyung! His vogue looks gotta be one of my favorite!"</p><p>
  <em>Ah, right.</em>
</p><p>Bambam had always been a great guy. Even after he left Korea, he never mentioned the incident that had happened; news, media, tabloid—there was nothing. Jaebeom didn't know what kind of stuff Bambam had to go through in Paris, but it was clear that Bambam didn't want to open any old wounds—especially his friends' wounds.</p><p>Not just Jaebeom and Mark, Bambam continued his ramble and told Jaebeom that he had watched some of Jinyoung's dramas, streaming to Jackson's music—even made a personal playlist to it, putting in several of his favorite songs.</p><p>"You are all pretty famous in France, especially Jackson hyung." He started excitedly. "You and Mark hyung are no stranger when it comes to the fashion industry, the people who are into those stuff and possibly have their own dreams in becoming a designer or model, they all know you two. Whereas people who are more into Korean dramas, none of them feels unfamiliar with Jinyoung hyung. And Jackson hyung?" Bambam prompted. "Honestly, who doesn't know Jackson Wang?" He chuckled, a layer of joyfulness etched into his voice.</p><p>And as if looking at Bambam would fix every problems he had faced in life—Jaebeom decided he never wanted to look away. He found comfort in listening to Bambam's voice; lovely, delightful, yet a bit childlike. A wide smile was visible on Jaebeom's face, obviously couldn't hide his true fondness.</p><p>
  <em>Yes.</em>
</p><p>This was more than enough for him. Seeing Bambam smile like this was more than <em>enough</em>.</p><p>Jaebeom shouldn't ask for more.</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>ayeee my first got7 fic (this is going to be a 5-10 chaptered fic,,,,i hope) </p><p>and tbh i’m yugbam af but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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